Fickle friends

You know those times when you think you’ve got someone sussed? You’re good friends, you have shared interests, dislikes, laughs. And then, it changes quickly. And you’re left bewildered.

This happened to me quite recently. I was blindsided by it, shocked by the shifting of blame, hurt by the dissolution of a friendship. At my age, I am disappointed in myself for being surprised. You would think that I have seen enough of human nature and its fickleness to take it all in my stride.

The choice now is up to me. I can dwell on this and let it eat me alive. I can ponder what I could have done better, or differently, or ways that I can make inroads now, to mend the fissure. Or, I can accept that I had no part in the lead-up to the fracture of this friendship, and therefore I can play no effective role in its healing. I can grant myself the grace to understand that some people will never see things in the same light. Our differences in viewpoints, opinions is what makes us fundamentally human. If we were all the same, the world would be boring. Less hurtful, perhaps, but definitely boring.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

10 thoughts on “Fickle friends”

  1. You know, Linda, this has happened to me more times than I can count. It has always bewildered me that someone does a complete 180 degree turn without so much as an explanation. Now I just shrug.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. actually, it has not been ‘more times than I can count’, it was once that was bewildering; the other times the relationships dissolved for reasons that I can at least deduce.
      Hang in there…write it out of your system (maybe not publicly, but on paper – then burn it or shred as a closure ritual)…and move on to better friends.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s happened to me too. I’m thinking it is a ‘thing’ that happens to most of us at anytime, regardless of how long the friendship existed, and sometimes without notice or explanation.

    IMO I think that it is a reflection of the times we live in, in that people treat others like they’re some kind of disposable item. Ouch! This doesn’t apply to ‘all’ people, because there are decent people in the world that are not too quick to disregard a good friendship over some petty misunderstanding, or a difference of opinion. If you can’t be yourself in the friendship, then why bother? If the differences are too great, then we should ask ourselves whether the friendship is genuine or based on some kind of ‘need’ that it offers each other, even to it’s detriment.

    Liked by 1 person

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