At the ridiculous hour of 3.23AM, with my alert mind working overtime, I had the best plan for my manuscript. It was brilliant. The new plan required huge structural changes, but I could see how effective it would be. Three parts in a neat, linear time frame, instead of the jumbled and somewhat confusing flashbacks. I even came up with titles for the new three-part sections. After staring at the ceiling for another hour, trying to switch off my brain, I fell asleep again, smiling at my cleverness.

This morning, after dropping the kids at school, I made those changes.

Now, lunchtime, I’m a sobbing, rocking mess in the corner. It’s all a bit too hard. The structural changes do actually make sense (thank you sleep-deprived early morning brain), but of course there’s a lot of changes that need to be made, changes to tense, scenes that worked at one point, no longer work in the new spot. It’s more than tweaking, it’s a whole-of-manuscript assessment and editing. The part of writing that I dislike.

Here I find myself, avoiding the task, wondering if I go back to how it was, or persevere.

What would you do? What do you do when faced with a huge job that challenges your brain, your creativity?


Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

6 thoughts on “Changes”

  1. And only tear out one hair at a time; you’ll need the rest for the next novel (or six). I call it the review-revise stage, so it at least sounds something like productivity. It’s part of the deal. Nothing stays the same, and we go through the mss sometimes so many times we get sick of it, but for it to be the best it can be, we suffer these twinges, and once it’s alive and out there, a new love will come calling (and it all starts again, but hopefully we remember some of the issues and don’t get so easily sidetracked with this, that, the other – and focus on the story).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Take it a day at a time, hour by hour…piece by piece, sentence by sentence! Don’t try to do it all at once….The thought of it all….is too overwhelming! You’ve come so far! It’s really quite exciting! Take time out to rock, as needed! 💙

    Liked by 1 person

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