At the ridiculous hour of 3.23AM, with my alert mind working overtime, I had the best plan for my manuscript. It was brilliant. The new plan required huge structural changes, but I could see how effective it would be. Three parts in a neat, linear time frame, instead of the jumbled and somewhat confusing flashbacks. I even came up with titles for the new three-part sections. After staring at the ceiling for another hour, trying to switch off my brain, I fell asleep again, smiling at my cleverness.
This morning, after dropping the kids at school, I made those changes.
Now, lunchtime, I’m a sobbing, rocking mess in the corner. It’s all a bit too hard. The structural changes do actually make sense (thank you sleep-deprived early morning brain), but of course there’s a lot of changes that need to be made, changes to tense, scenes that worked at one point, no longer work in the new spot. It’s more than tweaking, it’s a whole-of-manuscript assessment and editing. The part of writing that I dislike.
Here I find myself, avoiding the task, wondering if I go back to how it was, or persevere.
What would you do? What do you do when faced with a huge job that challenges your brain, your creativity?