Family, Health and wellbeing, Melbourne, Opinion, Parenting, Relationship and marriage, Writing

The sign

Outside my home, I have posted a note on a tree on the nature strip.

For a number of weeks now, this strip of council-owned land has been littered with dog poo. An inconsiderate, lazy dog owner—or walker—has been allowing the dog to take a dump right near my front gate. Presumably, the human (I’m having trouble assigning that noun to this type, however) has stood and watched the dog drop its turd, or stared off into the distance until the business is done. Then he or she walks away, with the dog feeling lighter, with the satisfied panting that can only come from an emptied bowel.

At first, I felt disgusted. Not because of the poo, although that in itself is abject. My disgust was more directed towards the owner, bubbles of anger like a near-boiling kettle rose as I hosed the poo into the gutter, ready for the weekly street cleaner to sweep up. After about the fourth load of shit, my disgust turned to outrage. How amazingly singular of this person! How could he or she not be aware of the homes, the lack of off-street parking. I have three children who get in and out of our cars and walk to our front gate. I am constantly on the look out, reminding them to ‘watch for the poo!’ or ‘careful where you step!’ Or perhaps the person was aware of the homes with no driveways and garages and JUST. DIDN’T. CARE.

We came home from a family outing on the weekend. I opened the passenger door to find a fresh dump, right there on the apex of the nature strip and footpath. I lost it. Those bubbles of anger boiled over, like a kettle that’s too full. Steam shot out of my ears and filth spewed from my mouth. I’d had enough.

I stormed inside, grabbed a leaflet of paper. For only a second I thought about what to write. Would I go postal, or keep calm? You might be pleased to see I chose the latter. No point being inflammatory (trying to keep words and actions matching, at least for the sake of my children). My sign is the image for this post, it reads, ‘Please clean up after YOUR DOG!! This footpath is NOT a toilet. Thank you!’

We live in a society. A community. When we start to not give a shit about our communities, by leaving shit, quite literally, in a path most frequently trod, it’s all downhill. To behave continually in this manner shows an alarming lack of respect for others, a common feature in the world today that makes me sad.

In spite of this, I still choose inclusivity, friendliness, kindness and respect. And to end on a positive, since I posted the sign, there have been no fresh loads.


Image: author’s own


14 thoughts on “The sign”

  1. I have the nature, personality, well, the character, that would wait and plan and catch the sapien responsible and spray the sapien with hose water. But not just any hose water. I’d use an old fashioned Venturi dispenser that used to be used to spray the garden with pesticide added to a bucket of water. The weighted end of a tube connected to the hose would sit in the bucket and suck the poisonous mix as a result of the vacuum formed from the flow of water in the hose. For the canine turd sapien, I would make a vile mixture of foul smelling ingredients to spray and then to laugh and then to shout instructions on how to clean up the faeces after the dog has defecated. Perhaps I’ve revealed too much about my character.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are hilarious! I love this…you may have revealed too much about your personality but I think your plan as laid out above is what nearly all of us would wish to do! I too have dreams of retribution, usually involving me smearing said dog shit in owner’s face (while wearing gloves and using some sort of robotic, fake hand, of course). But that would not be me choosing kindness. Alas.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We can start a movement. Not a bowel movement though. To rid the streets of ignorant and inconsiderate sapiens who watch their dogs lay cable on a footpaths and nature strips…

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Revenue raising by the council. We live in a street near to a busy private hosp and a major arterial road with a bustling shopping strip. Resident permits only for street parking, but the council (or rather the company outsourced) do the st sweeping weekly, thurs my side, fri the opposite. Fines are issued if any cars are parked on the road during the allocated hour for street sweeper. It’s actually a pain in the arse, a bun fight between residents to get their cars on the non-fine-issuing side of the road and still close enough to our homes. First-world problems, hey?? 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We live in a very leafy area, so every time it rains the drains clog. It’s hilly here so a downpour can get quite interesting. The streets are ‘swept’ every four months, but the bloke does not get out of his truck to clear the drains — and the cycle continues haha.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. O God!! What do we do with people. That’s so annoying reading it I had a vision of me holding a shovel standing outside your home waiting for this special snowflake to arrive! Thank God i don’t live near your place I’m sure this is the kind of thing that could send me to jail.

    Liked by 1 person

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